So, This is really a new way of talking, isn’t it! Dr. Gary Chapman coined the term love language to express how we express and receive love. So, it is not only based for romantic partner, but you can also identify what works for you at a usual basis. We have been hearing that a male’s and a female’s brain is different, but this is something where it is only about the type of love language that suits you.
So, let us go through the five types of Love Languages , so that you can also identify which is a good fit for you .
1. Quality Time
Quality time is about spending time together enjoying each other’s company.
How to communicate:
Put down your phone and other things that mostly distract you. Focus on uninterrupted interaction or discussion. One on one time is very critical. You must have heard something called as “Me Time”, there has to be an “Our Time” also.
Actions to take:
Create special moments together like scheduling and going for a walk together, doing or indulging in some activities with your spouse, going for a weekend getaways or even travelling somewhere close by.
Things to avoid:
Having distractions like Mobile apps, games, chatting with someone else, long stint without spending time with each other.
2. Physical Touch
Physical touch is showing love through hugging, cuddling, being intimate or simply putting a caring hand on someone’s shoulder. Sometimes, your partner might be more physically active than you. Even if you don’t like it, you should indulge or try to be in it happily, because that is one way of making your partner happy.
How to communicate:
Non Verbal use of Body Language , which emphasizes love and care , for eg. Holding hands, hugging, moving your fingers along your partner’s hair.
Actions to take:
Showing physical affection regularly and make physical intimacy a thoughtful priority.
Things to avoid:
Physical neglect, a long stint without intimacy, receiving affection coldly
3. Receiving Gifts
Yes, this had to be featured in the list. When you gifted something to your crush from that gift shop or you received the gift, you saved that thing for so long, because it was dear to you. For few people, this becomes a really important step during their relationship.
How to communicate:
Thoughtfulness, make your partner’s choice priority, speak purposefully.
Actions to take:
Give thoughtful gifts, small things matter in a big way, People in this category, don’t really are looking for expensive gifts, for them, it is the thought that counts.
Things to avoid:
Forgetting special occasions, unenthusiastic gift receiving.
4. Acts of Service
Ever experienced this during your relationship or someone other’s, that the partner would do something for the other counterpart, like cooking or cleaning or arranging the place or shopping on behalf of their partner. Well this is just the same thing.
How to communicate:
Use action phrases like “ I’ll help…” , they want to know you are with them /partnered with them in small little errands.
Actions to take:
Do chores together, make them breakfast on bed, go out of your way to help alleviate their daily work load.
Things to avoid:
Making the requests of others a higher priority, lacking follow-through on tasks big and small.
5. Words of Affirmation
These are the positive words that you say to them personally or in front of people. These people love to be praised by someone they love. So, make sure, if you have one, who likes this, from time to time you need to tell him/her how lucky you are, or how much you love them, or how they have made a positive change in your personality.
How to communicate:
Encourage, affirm, appreciate, empathize, listen actively
Actions to take:
Send an unexpected note, text or card. Encourage genuinely and often.
Things to avoid:
Non constructive criticism, not recognizing or appreciating efforts.
Typically people have one main love language and one secondary one. It is important to know these so you can ask for what you need and show your partners, friends and colleagues appreciation in the way they like to receive it.